One year ago today.....

 Wednesday, May 15, 2013

One year ago today the bottom fell out of my world and I was falling, falling, falling....

One year ago today I learned the depth of the words fear and love.....

One year ago today I felt completely alone and isolated.....

One year ago today I thought I would never stop crying.....

One year ago today I was not sure my first born son would see his 12th birthday.....

AND TODAY.....

My world is strong and solid and steady....
The love is much more powerful and significant than the fear....
I have never felt so much support and community and belonging.....
I continue to cry but it stops for days or weeks at a time and is often triggered by pure joy and gratitude rather than sadness.....
I see my adolescent child exhibiting moments of teenage behavior and I look forward to the trials and triumphs of seeing him into adulthood....

And through it all there is this child, this boy, this amazing light in my life.

We are so blessed.  We will never look upon this illness as a curse; it will always be a gift of awakening, of sharing, of humbleness, of friendships, of family, of pure love, of the generosity of strangers, of amazement, of gratitude, of innocence, of time, and of life.