Hey, what is that on your neck?

Most of you are here because you already know that Dillon has cancer.  But I get a lot of questions, especially from worried moms, about how we "found it."  So I am going to start our blog from the point of when we decided that something might be wrong with BIG D. 

About 2 weeks ago (sometime in early May) Dillon complained of a lump on his neck, in front of his collarbone.  It was firm and a little tender and on the left.  Dillon had been playing a lot of basketball and had been training for his pentathlon at school, so Sean and I decided it was probably a muscle strain/pull of some sort.  He did not complain about it any more....so we went along our merry little lives.

Then, on May 14 Dillon came home from school saying that he now had a lump on the other side (the right) in the same location as the left side, and it was quite tender. By evening it was downright painful, and by morning he could not get out of bed unassisted because it hurt his neck whenever he moved his body.  Well, I decided that was just a bit to severe to be a simple muscle issue, and why would the muscle be swelling and lumping up in the same location on both sides.  Sean expressed great concern on the evening of May 14, which is very unlike him.  He is more of the wait and see kind of dad, which is usually the appropriate protocol with young active boys (one day they are in pain over something and then next they are miraculous healed :)

On the morning of Tuesday, May 15, I dropped Luca off at school and proceeded to call Arroyo Chamiso Pediatrics to set up a visit for that day.  Dillon was in so much discomfort that he informed me that he would not be attending school that day; so we set off for the doctor's office after securing a same-day appointment for 9 a.m. 

Dillon was seen by a new doctor at Arroyo Chamiso that we had never met; Aja Sanzone, MD.  She examined D for a couple of minutes and said she wanted to go get our 'regular doctor' for a second look.  In came Dr. Edward Kleiner to examine Dillon.  He agreed with Dr. Sanzone's assessment, which was that this was clearly a lymph node swelling (thus the masses on both sides in the same location) and that they were in a very unusual location.  She informed us that she would be calling UNM in Albuquerque and that she wanted us to be seen there.  Okay, I am thinking....a referral that we will deal with in a few weeks...isn't that how referrals usually work?  At that point she informed me that indeed it was a referral and they would be waiting for us immediately at the inpatient unit at UNM Children's Hospital.  Inpatient....WHAT...I thought to myself . Why on earth would we be going to an inpatient unit for a quick little referral.  NO, the panic had not set in yet.  I was still processing and assuming it was yet another one of those referrals where you go all over the place, get tests, and then guess what, you are fine.  I really was not too worried or scared at this point.  They told us when we got to UNM we would have some labs and tests done.  Okay, easy enough.

Big D and I went home, called Sean, and packed a bag with snacks and books and stuff.  We drove to Albuquerque and decided we were hungry, so we stopped for lunch.  When we got to UNM Children's Hospital we finally found the building we needed to be in and headed up to the 6th floor. It turns out the sign said Pediatric Special Care Unit....okay I am thinking...this is getting weird.  Why on earth do we need to be going to a special care unit??? We walked in and they had a bed waiting, they knew who we were and why we were there...YIKES!!!  So we sat around the room for a few minutes and a nurses came in to inform us that there was lab work and x-rays ordered.  No paperwork, not signing stuff, no giving over a copy of the insurance card...just straight to tests.  When D heard the words lab work he knew immediately that meant NEEDLES!!!!  OH PANIC.  It took a lot of cajoling, consoling, convincing, and tear wiping to get through the lab draw, which ended up, after 3 tries, with the blood they needed and an IV in place...just in case...they said.  "Just in case what????" I am thinking in the back of my mind.  Now down for the x-ray, which was easy and fast and to Big D's delight...did not involve any more needles.  

The first IV

D very tired and uncomfortable after IV placement

Now....WAITING WAITING WAITING.....  watching basketball in a hospital room in the early evening on May 15.  Dillon got a food tray with a burger and fries and the nurse sneaked him a coke (hey he says, this place is fun).  We got to go outside to the play area that is on the 6th floor of the hospital. There was a band out there performing for the kids. 

Waiting for results, enjoying the sun and the music

View off the 6th floor play area

View off the 6th floor play area

A band was entertaining the kids

It is now early evening and in comes the entourage....5 doctors (two of which were medical students) with the head of the group being Dr. McKinnell of Pediatric Oncology.  Okay, now I start to panic.  The doctor jokes around with D for a while about his burger and coke and the basketball game.  They chat about the Celtics and the fact that Dillon has not been sick AT ALL the past few weeks (other than his usual seasonal allergies) and that he learned to throw a javelin and discus at school for the Greek pentathlon.  Then the doctor turns to me...I am nervous, shallow breathing....."There is a mass in your son's chest."  A WHAT....is screaming through my head.  I start to shake a little and reach for Dillon's hand...which is also shaking a bit.  He pushes his food tray away.  The doctor goes on....it is MOST DEFINITELY malignant.....WHAT.....is screaming in my head again.  The female med student tears up as I meet her eyes and she has to turn away.  Dillon is breathing fast...having no idea what malignant means but knowing full well a room full of doctors and a mass in his chest has got to be something bad.

The doctor goes on to describe the mass a bit, why he knows it is malignant (because of the location and Dillon's symptoms...it is apparently always malignant in these situations), and what the next step is.  We ask a few questions, which I cannot recall at this point, and the doctors leave.

I turn to my sweet little boy and I say..."You are sick bubba."  And he whispers..."I know."

He climbs into my lap and we cry.  He has not clutched onto me or held me that tight or for that long in years.  

My poor baby boy has cancer.....