Dropped like a rock

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

I have been waiting; staying focused and positive and productive; trying not to read too much into the lab values that the doctors present to me each morning.......that negative, scared voice in the back of my mind has been terrified because his white blood cell count has not dropped very low...which makes me feel like maybe this new chemo is not working (because no drop in white count is what happened with the last round of chemo when the tumor grew).

Finally, Dillon's white count has dropped....LIKE A ROCK....as one of the doctors anticipated it might.  Normally these counts would have dropped weeks ago, recovered, and then dropped again with the next round of chemo; it is one of the indicators that the tumor is being killed off and the chemo is 'working.'  Well, Dillon's counts have never really dropped....until now.

Yesterday they were at 4200 and this morning 400....yes you read right...400.  YIKES!! It is bitter sweet.  The chemo is working, surely the tumor is breaking down....but now he is super vulnerable to infection and that means more medications to ward off possible infections and also more vigilance with the foods he can have and hand washing and visitors.  When Dillon leaves his room and goes out into the hallway or public areas he now has to wear a mask.

It feels very surreal and creepy to actually "want" my boy to feel bad....but in my feeble non-medically trained mind...that means that the chemo is working.  They said people whose tumors are being destroyed feel flu-like symptoms.  So I am secretly celebrating when he is tired and nauseous and chilled and such (well not so secretly now that you all know but shhhhhh don't tell anyone).

We had a great visit from one of Dillon's buddies who showed up with lunch (THANK YOU TRISTAN!!!) and many tales from his travels this summer.  

Oh yeah....D did not get his lumbar puncture today.  There was a scheduling snafu so he is going to get it tomorrow.  Big D dreads this procedure for several reasons: One is that he hates the way he feels for the couple of hours after he wakes from the anesthesia (most kids get a "simple sedation" in their room for this procedure but because of the location of the mass in Dillon's chest there is a risk to his respiratory status so they have to actually take him to the OR so they can use a different medication and also so the emergency measures are in place, just in case he stops breathing).  Another thing is he has to be N.P.O. starting at midnight tonight (N.P.O. means nothing by mouth, nothing to eat or drink, not even water) and he gets very hungry, so much so that he is nauseous because of the acid burning in his empty tummy.  The third thing is the soreness and discomfort he has at the puncture site for a couple of days afterward. 

And another day passes.......